Freedom!!
So I was browsing the site for another project management tool the other day and I came across something that I frequently see on competitor’s websites yet I’ve never understood. In the copy on the page describing the product I saw the following phrase:
We give control back to the project manager.
I must admit, I was alarmed. Have we here at The Empire© stolen away the control, the very freedom of project managers everywhere? Surely not! I mean, maybe those jerks over at Oracle with their mighty all-knowing Primavera solution, or those IBMers with their Rational portfolio management platform. I could see them snatching away control from project managers quicker than you can say “Gantt Chart.” But not us.
Boy was I wrong. I started asking around about the missing control and found out that even here at the newer, more compassionate Empire© we too frequently strip control away from helpless project managers. And not only that, but we even have a special room in which we hold hostage the control along with the tears of 1 million Vista users. I took a picture of it, but I must warn you I’m risking my job by posting it online:
And yes, if you’ve read this far and haven’t realized this is a joke then you might want to ask a friend about sarcasm, or about Front Page. The extensive use of either will likely ensure that you end up in hell.